Love, Fear, & Everything In Between

Hello, friends. It’s been a while.

I want to be honest with you all and express the fact that shame has played a large role in my absence. The longer I avoided writing any more blog posts or even any updates for my website/Instagram in general, the worse the shame felt, and the harder it was to eek out my thoughts and feelings on a page. But I am here now, baring my soul, because I am finally actively combating that shame.

It’s very challenging to recap what’s been going on for me over the last.. jeez, nearly three years. In a nutshell, in 2022 I endured some of the most physically and emotionally taxing health problems I’ve ever experienced, culminating in a surgery at the end of the year. (I am doing much better, thankfully.) In 2023, I purchased my own condo and finally moved out of my ex’s house. Homeownership has been a real blessing, in spite of how scary it is. And in 2024 I experienced a skyrocketing trajectory in my own personal healing and self-love journey. (Oh, and I started a podcast with my biomom!)

And now in 2025, I am focusing more and more on my creative outlets. The podcast is a big part of that effort, but I am also hoping to commit to this blog more regularly. I used to blog almost daily back when I was in college, and I genuinely don’t know how I kept that up. I also don’t know yet how often I will be able to write new blog posts here. But I do know that breaking the ice here and now is going to make it that much easier to come back.

I have pulled a tarot card specifically for this blog post, and before pulling it, I committed to sharing the card and my interpretation no matter how personal it felt. That is to say, it turned out to feel really fucking personal.

The card for this blog post is the Two of Wands. Wands is the suit of fire, which aligns with the moon and rising placements (Leo and Aries, respectively) in my birth chart. Fire is full of passion and action, excitement and determination in the face of adversity. I use a beautiful tarot app, Labyrinthos, to occasionally refresh myself on card correspondences and also to get an affirmation for each card in the deck. The affirmation for the Two of Wands is this:

I give myself permission to dream big.

Friends, this genuinely made my eyes sting with tears. Even back in 2022 when I first built this website and started to bring my ideas into my physical reality, I was still so scared of dreaming at all, let alone dreaming big. But the difference between then and now is that I have learned how to start loving myself. And with loving myself comes a whole slew of side effects such as wanting good things for myself and believing that I deserve them. Effectively, I am finally giving myself permission to dream big.

I think I’ll leave it there. You guys, I am both scared and thrilled to be back. I hope to hear from you soon, on my Instagram or via email. I am greatly looking forward to the opportunity to meet with you in a session if you are feeling called to it. I love you all. And I promise, I will be back again soon. <3